Tuesday, July 14, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe indesign


Adobe InDesign is a desktop publishing (DTP) software application produced by Adobe systems which can be used to create anything from posters, flyers, and brochures to full magazines or books.

Designers and graphics production artists are the principal users, creating and laying out periodical publications, posters, and print media. Longer documents are often still designed with Adobe's FrameMaker(manuals, technical documents, etc.) or with QuarkExpress (books, catalogs, etc.). Using a relational database, the Adobe InCopy word processor uses the same formatting engine as InDesign.

Monday, July 13, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe Audition


Aobe Audition (formerly Cool Edit Pro) is a digital audio editor computer program from Adobe systems featuring both a multitrack, non-destructive mix/edit environment and a destructive-approach waveform editing view.

Syntrillium Software was founded in the early 1990s by Robert Ellison and David Johnston, both former Microsoft employees. Originally developed by Syntrillium as Cool Edit, the program was distributed as crippleware. The full version was useful and flexible, particularly for its time. Syntrillium later released Cool Edit Pro, which added the capability to work with multiple tracks, as well as other features. Audio processing, however, was done in a destructive manner (at the time, most computers were not powerful enough in terms of processor performance and memory capacity to perform those functions in real time). Cool Edit Pro v2 added support for real-time non-destructive processing, and v2.1 added support for surround sound mixing and unlimited simultaneous tracks (up to the limit imposed by the actual computer hardware). Cool Edit also included plugins such as noise reduction and FFT equalization.

Adobe purchased the latest, non-shareware version (Cool Edit Pro v2.1) from Syntrillium Software in May 2003 for $16.5 million cash as well as a large loop library called "Loopology". Adobe then changed the name of Cool Edit Pro to "Adobe Audition".

Sunday, July 12, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe premier


Adobe Premiere Pro is a real-time, timeline based video editing software application. It is part of the Adobe creative suite, a suite of graphic design, video editing, and web development applications made by Adobe systems, though it can also be purchased separately. Even when purchased separately, it comes bundled with Adobe Encore and Adobe OnLocation. Premiere Pro supports many video editing cards and plug-ins for accelerated processing, additional file format support, and video/audio effects. Premiere Pro CS4 is the first version to be optimized for 64-bit operating system although it is not natively 64-bit.

Premiere Pro is the redesigned successor to Adobe Premiere, and was launched in 2003. Premiere Pro refers to versions released in 2003 and later, whereas Premiere refers to the earlier releases. Although the first two versions of Premiere Pro only supported Windows, Premiere Pro CS3 is available for both Windows and Mac OS (only Intel-based Macs are supported), making it one of the few cross-platform NLEs available.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe illustrator


Adobe Illustrator is a vector graphics editor developed and marketed by Adobe systems.

The latest version, Illustrator CS4, is the fourteenth generation in the product line. Numerous new features include multiple artboards in a single document, a "blob brush" that is similar to the brush in Adobe Flash, and support for transparency in gradients among other features.

Friday, July 10, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe dreamweaver


Adobe Dreamweaver (formerly Macromedia Dreamweaver) is a web development application originally created by Macromedia , and is now developed by Adobe systems, which acquired Macromedia in 2005.

Dreamweaver is available for both Mac and Windows operating systems. Recent versions have incorporated support for web technologies such as CSS, JavaScript, and various server-side scripting languages and frameworks including ASP, ColdFusion, and PHP.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe photoshop


Adobe Photoshop, or simply Photoshop, is a graphics editing program (also known as a DPP, Desktop Publishing Program) developed and published by Adobe systems.

It is the current market leader for commercial bitmap and image manipulation software, and is the flagship product of Adobe Systems. It has been described as "an industry standard for graphics professionals"and was one of the early "killer applications" on the PC

This is the bad ass on of all editing software out there. It sells the most and also one of the funnest to use. No graphics editor or photographer would be caught dead not knowing what this baby is all about.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

On tech: Software: Adobe after effects


Adobe After Effects is primarily used for creating motion graphics and visual effects. After Effects allows users to animate, alter, and composite media in 2d and stereotipic 3d space with various built-in tools and third party plug-ins, as well as individual attention to variables like parallax and user-adjustable angle of observation.

Both After Effects and some non-linear editing systems (NLEs) are layer-oriented, meaning that each individual media object (video clip, audio clip, still image, etc.) occupies its own track.

This article of software is ideal for video makers everywhere it helps add interest to your videos and gives it that X-factor that make your videos cool.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Bank bomb


The bank bomb, what better way to encourage you to save then a threat to spill your money all over the place. Thats a very weird method heling you save. The bank bomb only works when you consistently feed it with coins so yeah its gonna be spilling them every now and then. I just don't see how that feature will help you save your money damn! WTF????!!!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Bicycle robot


It's a robot on a bicycle yes... it seem like a pretty useful gadget but its not! The robot can ride the bicycle in one direction and stop if something is blocking it... WOW! Whats the point to it all? Its not like this thing can like deliver pizzas or messages or anything. It rides a bike like a retard slowly and stupidly.. IT DOSENT EVEN TURN!!!! WTF????!!!!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Life size Gundam


Grabe... GUNDAM!!!!! Yes that is correct they have built a life size version of the first ever Gundam mobile suit featured in the anime series. But wait there's more!!! You're not gonna believe this but it can turn its own friggin head! AWESOME!!!! AND it can blow out steam!!! Wow how did they do that! This people is how you waste 59 feet of metal or plastic or watever material! WTF????!!!!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Giant robosaurs


Giant dinosaurs have been spotted in Japan and wow do they suck. Japanese engineers have yet again flushed an amount of money to create another WTF thing. These giant automated dinos can walk and roar (if you even consider it that, FAIL) thay can even blink their eyes!!! Sure the dinosaurs look real enough-ish but you really have to wonder why? What use do we have of 20-30 foot tall fake dinosaurs? I know we should give it to farmers as a really cool ridcioulusly expensive scarecrow!!! WTF????!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Robot stripclub


OK.... This is just plain freaky! Looks like the British are catching up with the Japs with this one. Its a robotic DJ and a pair of robotic pole dancers... How f*cked up could you possibly be to think of this??!!! Its so strange and bizare. Its like, come R2 its friggin robots night!!!! Honestly what do these people do with their time!? Seeing all this makes me not want to have robots in the future. Is this what the use of robotics have come to giving C3PO a friggin stiff? WTF????!!!!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Robot model


Damn just when you thought thing couldn't get more, HUUUUUH!????? The Japanese has once again set the bar for the WTF things to do with time and money. Yes they have engineered a robot supermodel for the runway as of right know "she's" the smallest model ever standing at 4ft (I wonder if she'll be modeling for midget clothing hmmmmm?). Japan is actually spending 2 million dollars to modify this robot and add more elegance and grace to its movements.

Japanese engineers must be pretty lonely indeed to even spend 2 minutes in a project like this. I mean what the hell are there designers for robots now? do they get paid in oil, or screws, or springs? WTF????!!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

On tech: WTF?: Unicycle Robot

Holy sh*t its a robot that can do something I can't do. But wow how useful can this be its a robot on a friggin unicycle WOW!!! AMAZING!!!! not boring at all. This bad boy of the robot inudsry is equipped with sensors so it dosen't bump into anything, how awesome is that!!! (not much really).

But you got to respect the Japanese with how bored they can get, they probably have the attention span of a rusted door knob to even think of making this (they have hot women though so, kudos to that). But seriously what is this for? WTF????!!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Astro boy

Astro boy,is one of the first attempts of an Asian tech berthed hero. Sure he is not as high tech as the tech berthed heroes of today but he has rockets for feet... Yes but it was with this little boy that the anime business sparked and lead to the creation of more tech berthed heroes like Mega man (the cooler astro boy).

Astro boy is capable of flight (duh) and saves the day with his slightly above average strength. Astro boy was one of the first anime characters to attain this level of popularity, which is up to now a mystery to me.


Monday, June 29, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Voltes V

Now this is some old school Asian sh*t. Voltes V was a tech berthed hero famous to children all throughout Asia during the 90s. Composed of five separate modes of transportation Voltes V is like a huge ass, bad ass constructicon except that he's Asian.

Voltes V protects the coasts of from other big ass monster robots that want to bring the Earth down. Voltes V is equiiped with all sorts of gadgets and gizmos but the most famous one no doubt is his sword, the finishing weapon attached to his chest.

Voltes V is another notion of how technology can be used in acts of heroism, in the view of Asian eyes.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Terminator

Come with me if you want to live. The eight worlds that have been etched inside the brains of every sci-fi fan since 1991 when were taken a back by the sudden change of heart of the big ass machine known as the Terminator. When it all began the Terminator was the villain trying to destroy the mother of future resistance leader, John Connor. But as fate would have it this killing machine would turn a new leaf as he was reprogrammed to protect instead of to kill.

The Terminator dose not have powers per say he is just one really powerful piece of hardware. With no emotion or remorse the Terminator sets out to finish its mission, no matter how much he... Terminates... yes. Truly a deserving tech berthed hero.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Optimus Prime

Two words come to mind when ever the name Optimus comes up.... Oh yeah!!! The leader of a highly advanced and sophisticated beings of sheer awesomeness, the Autobots. Optimus Prime sends a gorgantous amounts of pure unfiltered fear to the robot spines of the Decepticons as they scream, Watchout he's got a f*cking Tree!!!

Optimus is a fine example of a tech berthed hero that is well suited to lead. Optimus comes programmed with the undeniable aura of wisdom and awesomeness that ohter heroes just dream to possess and he is polite too.

He is well known for sacrificing himself to ensure the safety of a planet that is not even his, what a good Samaritan! He comes eqipped with a big ass gun and two bi*chin knives that appear out of nowhere! Truly a fine perception of a tech hero

Friday, June 26, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Steel

Steel, has got to be the saddest attempt to copy superman. He's like Ironman except he's not as cool. Steels origins are somewhat simple for a tech berthed hero. He was just your around the mill average everyday goody two shoes soldier that happened to stumble upon some serious hardware.

Steel's powers include flying and his armor increases his strength and speed, ooooh so original. But yet he is still an example of how technology affects the human perception to make heroes.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Robocop


And the criminals scream: Oh no! its Robocop walk fast!!! Yes Robocop the slow ass tech berthed hero from the 1980s. At first he was just your regular goody two shoes cop who got caught in a devastating shoot up with the mob, he got his as shotgunned... A LOT.

After his death the police department used what was left of his body and turned him into Robocop. Despite his lack of speed Robocop is a very accurate shot... yes an accuarate shot is pretty much his ace in the hole.

This was one of the first tech berthed heroes to ever grace the big screen and I have to admit, thank God technology advances!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Megaman



Megaman is another tech berthed hero. Megaman is a cyborg constructed by Doctor light in order to protect the world from an evil mad scientist bent on using his cyborg, Sigma, to destroy the world. As powers go Megaman has rather simple ones, he just has his buster gun and his ability to gain the powers of cyborgs that he beats. Megaman also has armor upgrades that incease his battling capabilities.

Megaman is an asian tech berthed hero and is a good example of how technology gives the asian hero a tune up job.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

On tech: Tech berthed hero: Ironman


Ironman is probably the coolest technology breathed hero to ever grace the pages of the comic book world. He is like Marvel's Batman except he has a light bulb super glued to his chest. Both Batman and Ironman are billionaires, they both rely on technology to save the day, and both are rich ass playboys. But in some ways Ironman is a more plausible hero than Batman can ever be.

Think about it with the technology nowadays being as complex as it is the creation of an exoskeleton suit that increases strength is more possible than one man being able to learn all forms of martial arts and not be as old as confucious. Plus it's as if someone has the mental capacity that Batman has, I mean come on he KNOWS too damn much! Batman is like a buff ass nerd, he can make caves into fully functional computer rooms AND beat the living shit out of people, it's just too far fetched.

Lastly, Ironman's costume looks way more cooler than Batman's costume. Come on the guy prances around in a torn up cape, that's so gay compared to a dude in armor flying at the speed of sound. It just goes to show you how vital technology has become as a part of the human perception. Heroes are even being made out of technology.

Monday, June 22, 2009

On tech: Google Earth: sort of God's vision


Google Earth, the program that makes us feel like God, well sort of. Satellite imagery has made this already small world smaller. With the use of the latest satellite info Google operators were able to create a program that puts the whole world at the palm of man's hands.

Admittedly, when I first tried using the program I felt like a God seeing the planet before my eye, being able to zoom in and watch everything in a great big area.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

On tech: First!


Today we live in a world of technology. From the offices to our homes technology has become one with man and his attempts in life. But let us not forget where it all began...

The stone tools the first piece of technology to be held in the palm of man's hand. This primitive attempts on tool making is the pinnacle of technology, this is how it all began. Man was born with nothing but his exceptionally large brain and his sadistic ways of thinking. climbing down from the safety of his tree man decided to kill everything else that moved with these tools. And that is what I call history.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

On tech: The 5D cinema


A film viewing experience that will surely knock you off your seat, Literally!!! Films in not 3, not 4, but 5D! The first ever 5D cinema has been ERECTed! In Moscow.

The 5D cinema is said to enhance the participation of the audience emitting smells along with the movie. The cinema also makes use of the audiences sense of touch giving audiences a slight splash when scenes involving water is running on the screen. Imagine actually being able to touch what you're watching! I know I am! With advancements in technology being taken inside a movie is a lot more possible than you think.

Friday, June 19, 2009

On tech: The robot population explosion

Robots are nowadays, EVERYWHERE! Its a robot population explosion! In countries like Japan and Germany more Robots are being made than people. I know! how unhorny and super geeky are they!!?? I mean WTF! more robots than people!? Well I could understand the Japanese if you've been reading my past posts then you KNOW what they do with technology. But the Germans? They're Europeans!!!! Europeans love being horny!!! I mean that's where amsterdam is! In any case more robots means less jobs for people and puts a future like the one in the matrix in the equation, and we don't want that.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

On tech: The ipodless effect


Ahh the ipod any self-respecting teenager would most probably be aware of the invention that put apple back in the game. The ipod, the mp3 player that turned has made all our lives somewhat musical.

But regardless of the ipod's impecable timing for apple, there is more to this gadget than meets the eye. It has turned people into its little play things, I mean everyone wants an ipod or a newer ipod. Evolving from the classic ipod to the ipod photo to the ipod video and now the ipod touch its rapid popularity makes it an if you don't have it you're poor kind of thing.

Bascially the ipodless effect in the third person perspective is, no money or no class. It just goes to show you how technology and social classes mesh.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On tech: Evolution


Wow I am simply at a loss of words... Technology's end result is hot, German, and a lot complicated. What this video is all about is showing us how like the organisim evolved from something simple to something that is as complicated as the human body, and a smoking human body at that. Like the invention of the wheel resulted in carts to automobiles so goes the evolution of technology continous and unpredictable. As long as man continues to adapt to the environment he will continue to make use of technology in order to gain the upper hand.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

On tech: It can fly!


Its a bird, its a plane, no its something totally new and awesome! Ladies and gentlemen it's the flying car! Fasten your seat belts it's one remarkable ride. Talk about crusing in style the flying car gets you about 5000 feet up in the air and is one great way to beat the morning traffic. But wait it there's more! The car can actually be converted to just a regular car with foldable wings and tuckable flight controls, utterly amazing. It's like a bonafied James Bond experience! And it'll probably score huge points on the ladies, sweet.

Monday, June 15, 2009

On tech: Alienses!!!???


Holy extra terestrial life forms Batman!!! Water on Mars!!! You know what that means! The possibility of life on mars. NASA discovered ice in Mars, not only that they took the ice melted it and space Fed Exed it to Earth and drank it! Pucha IMPORTED!!!! Think of what this means to the community I mean, Mars water cha-cha-cha ching! I can see the advertisements now, come on it's water from space it pracitcally sells itself!!! I know I wouldn't mind having a bottle its probably jam packed with all sorts of minerals that will turn you ALIEN!!!, Space water Martian Maddness!!!

But honestly, NASA technology was able to diagnose water in Mars with the use of a unmanned lander. So frickin amazing, imagine that eons ago Mars could have been like a mini Earth that supported all forms of life. Imagine in a few years we could find little E.T. fossils.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

On tech: Food car


Technology has done it again giving humanity a solution to the Eco problems with this car. This racing car is purely fueled by chocolate. Which is awesome in all cause it doesnt destroy anything it dosent make use of bad bad fossil fuels that add to the problem of global warming. It's made up of carrots and potatoes and goes up to 160 now that's fast food! Sure it slaps the homeless garbage rummaging people in the face but hey, think of it as an added motivation for them to work.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

On tech: The two way TV


One word three sylables, OMG! They actually made a TV that is so awesome that I'd punch myself in the liver, thats right not on the liver IN the liver as in INSIDE my liver to try it! Sharp probably had some doped up engineers to come up with this one. I mean they suddenly thought of a dual screen TV with just one LCD monitor. Who comes up with that? It's like having lunch with a Big Mac in one hand a Champ burger in the other, only food tripping stoners can think of that stuff.

But still it goes to show how revolutionary technology can be, it can have you looking one way and then the other way so mind bogglingly fast. I honestly never thought of an innovation like this on the TV sets, I imagined a dual channel TV to have two monitors. Hands down to sharp for helping out the community maybe kids won't beat the living crap out of each other now deciding whether to watch Disney or Nickelodeon.

Friday, June 12, 2009

On tech: What up

The G5 airplane one of technology's pimped up devices. According to Tropic Thunders Les Grossman, it's a playa's ride no more frequent flier b***h miles! Come on it's your very own airplane! I would gladly beat up my best friend with a frying pan for one of these bad boys. It gets you where you need to go and it gets you there with the utmost style and comfort. It's cost is a mere $46 million, extravagant, sure but it a big plus on the awesome points.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

On tech: Bionic Man?


Wow this is very intense stuff actually fusing man and machine resulting in a semi-artificial being that can be considered as something taken out of a comic book. A nano-chip implanetd in the brain that can control technology through thought, sounds like a villain that Spider-man should stop. But it is actually happening and there's only one thing to say... TASTY!!! Shit! its like I wanna gouge my eyes out to get that bionic one put inside me it'll be like an eye that can zoom in or zoom out your vision! It's super vision! And that chip implaned in the brain that can search google with a thought! Good bye school, general education would be rendered as uselss if people can access online information through their thoughts.

But I guess their are moral implications with the use of this technology, but I guess that can't be avoided now a days with the things that man has been cooking up. But enough of that we can actually cure the blind and the paralyzed with this technology! If Christopher Reeve was still alive he'd be jumping for joy, literally!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

On tech: Ooooh surface


AWESOME!!!! it's like a giant iphone but cooler! An innovation that will no doubt screw over all the waiters, but what the hell it's a small price to pay for sheer awesome technology. Come on you can play in the water without getting wet!!! If someone told me that a year ago I would have slapped him/her clear across the face with a brick filled gove and told him/her that he/she was insane. Leave it to microsoft to take something apple did and turn it to something cooler. I bet somewhere Steve Jobs is furious.

Well this is good news for restaurant owners lessening their chances to employ fumbling waiters. This new surface technology will cost about $5000 but who cares its COOL. Its a f***ing table that makes your life easier and awesome! Sign me up for that shit it's a device that will surely vamp up the way I use technology. I could live in a house with just a bed and that table! Screw indoor plumbing, to afford this I'd sell both my kidneys!!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

On tech: Obsolete


Isn't it unfair how fast technology comes up with new shit that makes the shit you just bought look like the shit of shit? Well to me it's so unfair that you can't even win. Everyday there's something new that so frickin high tech that you have to buy it. From cellphones to laptops to mp3 players. It happens every time, like when you buy an ipod they come up with a colored ipod with picture capability, you buy that ipod they come up with an ipod that can have pictures and videos, and when you buy that ipod they come up with an ipod that's just a touch screen AND wifi ready. When will it all end?


Even in the movie industry you got cassetes, then laser discs, then VCD's, then DVD, and now there's blue ray discs. EVERY TIME it's like, hell yeah i just got the latest shit and a couple of days later you stumble on the exact same shit you bought in a store but awesomer! And they market it in such a way that it's a sin not to buy all this new crap that in a couple days will be just the crap of crap. What a screwed up and flawed cycle designed to destroy our wallets.

Monday, June 8, 2009

On tech: Wearable Technology


I can describe my initial reaction to this fashion statement in three abbreviated letters, W.T.F??? People are actually making outfits like this now, bit by bit we are slowly dressing up like the extras from the Starwars and Startrek movies. I mean honestly a shirt that senses wifi signals, what happens if it rains? Do you get shocked and have your shirt repaired? And in the event that the shirt does get broken how do you fix it? You take it to a computer store? It's all just so frickin strange! Why would you by a shirt that senses wifi signals if laptops and cellphones already do that? If you ask me you'd just look like an idiot in how you dress AND how you spend your money.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

On tech: The couch potato theory


Ahh your average everyday couch potato so solid, stern, and never faltering. But have you ever wondered how man suddenly decided not to do anything porductive? Well for me the answer is very simple, technology did it! Eversince the technology ushered in the television, refrigerator, and the remote control man was suddenly presented with all these distractions. But technology didn't stop there, technology managed to get all those things that distracted man and put them in one must have device for every couch potato alive today, the La-Z-Boy. The La-Z-Boy was a Godesend to all the man-sloths its a comfortable recliner equipped with a built-in fridge AND a compartment to hold the remote, the only thing missing from the La-Z-Boy that would eliminate all forms of action for its owner is a built-in toilet.

Before technology presented these items to the world people were actually outside their homes and doing things that involved movement, not just finger movements real movements. People were interacting with each other not cramped in their living rooms watching re-runs. And in my opinion the children population had an increase in obesity because technology is turning them into couch potatoes. Kids before used to spend time outdoors playing games and sports but now kids are cramped in their rooms playing their videogames while eating their junk food. The link between technology and couch potatoes is very clear. The result of technological innovations that enhanced home comfort and entertainment has generated a new breed of man, the couch potato they may not be athletic, successful, or active but the world wouldn't be the same without them... I think

Saturday, June 6, 2009

On tech: The self-driving car


Okay, if you have been following my blog then you are probably aware of a post I made a couple of days ago about the self-parking car and how it sorta helps the drunks of the world, well drunkards hold on to your bottles because Toyota has come up with a self-driving car! F***ing insane! how awesome is that? A car that drives it self! A 100% garanteed solution for drunk driving! Designated drivers be informed, you can now get wasted!!!!

Friday, June 5, 2009

On tech: How Sad!!!



The video above is of man's attempts to eliminate the loneliness factor. This honestly makes me feel sad when ever I think about how the Japanese developers are creating a "girlfriend". Just imagine thousands of men lining up in front of various toy stores to purchase their new girlfriend. It just goes to show you how sad us humans can get just to avoid the cold sting of being alone.

It's called "Ema" (eternal maiden actualization) it stands at a scintillating 38 centimeters and it's programmed to rock your world (except it's not at all awesome). The developers are said to be the former video game console creator and distributor, SEGA. Yes they gave up on improving the Dreamcast console to create the ultimate sad and loser product. Ema has been equipped with gyrating dance moves (that is in no way enticing or appealing if an actual girl were to do them) and vocal capabilities. So come one come all and marvel at what technology has come down too, will the day come that real women become obsolete? let's all hope not.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

On tech: What perverts can build


To continue the point I was making yesterday, that technology is keeping the sexually suppressed people entertained in its own little way. The video above is a proof that technology can produce a device that perverts can channel their sexual energy to. Sadly the video is also proof how sad and low people can go to satisfy their urges. I guess technology does benefit everyone even those nasty little perverts.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

On tech: The true wonders of DELL


Ah the Dell computers, so reliable, useful, and conveniently easy to use. But above all the DELL systems computers keep the rates of rapes and prostitution use at a minimum by entertaining the sexually frustrated people of the world. I guess the porn industry is doing something right, I mean you gotta at least give them that bit of praise, they're doing their job... sort of. Hence the true use of DELL, keeping the streets almost safe for a late night stroll and almost giving hookers a hard time with their jobs.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

On tech: 498 years from now


The future, as long as anyone can recall man has always been asking one question. So, what happens next? Countless theories have already been made in attempt to answer that simple question. Hopefully the video above can help shed some light on what tomorrow could look like, assuming that mayhem and destruction due to global warming and senseless wars isn't on the schedule anymore.

It's a no brainier that the advancement of technology plays a key role in the future of mankind. But as to how technology will affect man's future, only time will tell. Personally I think that the future of man will be adapting to life under the ocean. Because we'll probably tear a hole in the ozone that is so big that it will make living on land impossible and melt the ice caps a lot faster. To those who watched the incredible flop of a movie, Water world (worst 3 hours of my life! thanks very much Mr. Costner), I imagine it to be like that except less lame and more awesome.

Monday, June 1, 2009

On tech: The biphone


Ahhh the iphone, as we all know the iphone has been selling like hotcakes since it hit the market... well solidly advanced, Internet accessible, mp3 playable, and ridiculously expensive hotcakes with a built in mirror on the back. The iphone has truly revolutionized the mobile phone world as we know it combining the two things that you are sure to find in any person from our generations pockets, an ipod and a cellphone. And not only that it is for ... wait for it... all sexaualites be it man, woman, gay, and lesbian EVERYONE wants an iphone! Which is why the iphone is truly THE gadget to have its loaded with stuff that you don't fully understand but makes you look cool AND its not discriminatory to the sexual prefrences of people! The iphone, an advertisers dream product to... advertise

Sunday, May 31, 2009

On tech: The self-parking car


I stumbled on to this topic earlier today and decided to check youtube for hard evidence. It's a self-parking f***ing car!!! AMAZING!!! Finally an invention that actually helps the drunkards of this world, well at least during the parking part... But still, it STILL helps. Leave it to the car industry to make such an innovation. Little by little the cars are evolving until hopefully it gets to the Jetsons stage where it folds into an awesome suitcase. Well here's to hoping what the future brings, after seeing this the sky is the limit.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

On tech: Tech Dependence



It's a known fact that now a days our lives revolve around the technology that we possess. Who could have predicted that everyone will have a cellphone in their pocket? From janitors to CEOs cellphones have brought a new found level of communication that keeps everyone near and dear to you just a dial away, awww isn't that just touching?

Technology has made life so easy that it is probably one of the main causes for out of shapeness. I mean think about it, if the people of today were to challenge the people during the time of Jesus in a marathon, the people of today would get their asses kicked! I mean come on we are talking about people who hitch a ride on metal boxes with wheels coming up against people who walked EVERYWHERE. But all senseless trivia aside it can't be denied how much we have come to depend on technology.
The video of college humor above will show you how ridiculous life would be without the technology we know today. Somewhere out there our hunting and gathering ancestors are rolling in their graves.

Friday, May 29, 2009

On tech: The Flame War



The Flame war is an online battlefield usually located on the comments forums of various site. The music video above by college humor should give those who aren't familliar with the term a pretty good idea on what the flame war and the act of flaming is all about. Isn't it just like people to try and use technology as a channel for bashing on the ideas and opinions of others?

Well I guess this is hard evidence of how free the internet can be. With the creation of sites such as youtube and multiply and other social networking sites people are free to post away on their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and views no matter how lame, stupid, or insensitive they are. In other words, people have managed to find a way to mess with each other and piss each other off while using the internet as a shield. The flame war is just the effect of bored suppressed people with access to online forums. Now we are free to insult or bash on people of all races and ethnicities and the best part about it all is, that with the internet no one will never know who's bashing on who! So that good news for the assholes of the world, technology is just making their overall goal in life easier.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

On tech: The anti-virus virus


Yes there is such a thing as an anti-virus virus! Who knew that the hacking community had it in them, bless their hearts. I can't imagine a bigger "cyber-irony" than a hacker making an anti-virus virus. Its a virus designed by hackers that... wait for it... removes its own kind from your computer system!

Apparently this virus is labeled as the Sahay virus, it arrives as an attachment that attaches itself to all the .exe files of Windows and C:\Program Files and launches a seek and destroy mission against the W32.Yaha worm family. Talk about fighting fire with fire. The virus basically functions like your average flu vaccine, introducing a certain strand of virus in the system to eliminate serious infection.

Kudos to the good Samaritan hacker that pulled this off! but sadly like everything else in this deranged cyberworld it comes with its downsides. Like those pop-ups that promise us all sorts of whacked out benefits (e.g. free software, amazing downloads, games,..etc) but in the end it reveals its true intentions of making a quick buck at the expense of our extreme boredom. The anti-virus virus is not recommended by computer engineers because of its somewhat independent nature. The absence of control is too huge of a risk to take, no person with the right frame of mind would dare put all his/her trust in a computer virus.

It just goes to show you how technology has further advanced the cyberworld making it every bit as complex as the world we live in today or maybe its even more complicated than we think.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

On tech: Why smaller and smaller?

I find it interesting how everything now a days has gotten so small. From computers that used to take up an entire room on its own to little note books that are as thin as paper. Who would have predicted back then that ther telephone would be re-engineered into a portable device and would become an extension to our senses? Technology has truly made things smaller and smaller.

Which actually makes me wonder is smaller more convenient? Now that I think about it smaller screens on phones and computers means more stress on the eyes. You can't deny that there is a huge link between small screens and bad eyes. And with the new small i-pods out with its insanely small screens and very fragile housings, I won't be surprised if Steve Jobbs experiences complete blindness due to Karma before he dies.

And technology making everything smaller is making it hard for the obese people, these people have fat fingers and struggle with using small keyboards on computers and small keypads on cellphones, its fine that it motivates them in a weird and cruel way to loose weight but enough is enough.

Also it's not just that nearly blind and insanely fat people that experience inconvenience, our wallets feel it too. Since technology is smaller it is a lot less sturdy then it was before and since everyone depends on technology now a days we have no choice but to buy these fragile products. And it still dosen't stop there. Too compensate for the weak housing on small tech we have to buy all these other things that the developers made to make sure that it doesn't break such as casings, protectors, and what not gadgets that burns of additonal hundreds from our wallets hundreds that could be used for food for the fat people and hundreds that could pay for the glasses of the nearly blind people.Soon Steve and the other developers would have to realize that there is such a thing as too frickin small!